I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.

At the same time, my sleep disorder became even worse. I started to sleep 10-12 hours a day while spending around 4-6 hours in bed just to trying to fall asleep, and since I had to do some housekeeping work it cut the planned 8 hours per day work down to 4-6 at most. I have taped off all the status indicator LEDs on my electronics, I asked my brother and father to refrain from loud TV watching at night, all for nothing. Caffeine intake don't worsen my ability of sleep. I do get tired, but somehow still don't feel myself sleepy. Tried to tell my doctors, but they just told me to do the stuff I've already done plus to refrain from using computers as much as possible and instead look for a job that don't require them. However, thanks to I had to use a "desk" with no leg room, my spine is all busted now, barely able to manage to lift 20kg without screaming in agony.

I try to resume my work on improving mago, but on a much smaller scale and lower priority since I have to spend time finding a job, which is a very hard thing in this fascist country called Hungary, while also not supporting said fascist regime. While the state propaganda says there's a big shortage on workforce (to the point that supposedly humanitarians are being reeducated for Java developers), I also see a lot of people being rejected with bogus claims which tells me that there's something fishy, and hearing some controversies of political opponents' families suddenly losing their jobs says me that they're persecuting their political opponents at any means possible.

Losing the funds put me in danger of homelessness, since I haven't been able to pay my father for rent and food for years, not to mention my PC is on its deathbed with its dried up CPU VRM capacitors, and USB and LAN ports fried after a thunderstorm and our previous ISP being skeptical with overvoltage protection (we got a direct hit into the antenna, which blew up his equipment, and fried by router, the LAN port, several USB ports, a cheap membrane keyboard, and a Logitech mouse I just have repaired).

I think I'll take a few days of doing other stuff, since my sleeping disorder sabotaged my free time too and now I have to find a job, (preferably internship) to calm down a bit.

On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
> I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.
>
> [...]

Have you tried melatonin? My doctor has me take a 1mg tablet and split it in two. So I take 1/2 at bedtime. That is the sweet spot. If you take more than that you will end up groggy.

On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
> I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.
>

Hello,

Just to say you seem like a nice fella: don't make yourself miserable! Put happiness first, as "inefficient" as it seems. As a developer noone will take care of yourself so you have to do it. The SAoC tasks indeed seem quite ambitious and complicated to me.
In a way, you were lucky that such problems happen early in your career!

On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
>
> I try to resume my work on improving mago, but on a much smaller scale and lower priority since I have to spend time finding a job, which is a very hard thing in this fascist country called Hungary, while also not supporting said fascist regime. While the state propaganda says there's a big shortage on workforce (to the point that supposedly humanitarians are being reeducated for Java developers), I also see a lot of people being rejected with bogus claims which tells me that there's something fishy, and hearing some controversies of political opponents' families suddenly losing their jobs says me that they're persecuting their political opponents at any means possible.
>

Hello,

I just wanted to say that you could consider finding the job abroad. Given
that you're an EU citizen, moving to Germany
or Austria (or Czech Republic, or Netherlands, or anywhere inside EU) is possible
without any bureaucratic issues, and you should use that opportunity.

It may sound scary, but it's actually much easier than you think, and maybe
that's just what you need! You may also be able to negotiate moving bonus which should
cover the rent & food for a month - until the first paycheck.

On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
> I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.

You've done the right thing by facing the situation and addressing it. Forget your coding commitments for now and get yourself sorted out. Hungary certainly has taken a horrible turn for the worst, I hope it does not affect you too badly.

On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
> my sleep disorder became even worse. I started to sleep 10-12 hours a day while spending around 4-6 hours in bed just to trying to fall asleep

And when you wake up do you feel rested and fully awake or does it take time to sober up?

Your experience sounds similar to mine and what helped me was fish/krill oil. Omega-3 acts as anti inflammatory agent. Its not a cure but it helps.

On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
> I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.

Hi, I'm one of the other participants to the SAoC project and I'm
replying on behalf of me and Francesco, the other SAoC student.
We just wanted to tell you not to be too hard on yourself and that
we understand the difficult time you're going through.

Also, if you want a change of air or a place were you can look for
new opportunities, we both are students in Turin (Italy) right now
and you're welcome to join us anytime.

We hope the best for you.

On Tuesday, 16 October 2018 at 02:20:09 UTC, Soulsbane wrote:
> Have you tried melatonin? My doctor has me take a 1mg tablet and split it in two. So I take 1/2 at bedtime. That is the sweet spot. If you take more than that you will end up groggy.

No, but I'll since I used to have this issue even as a child, this might help. I'll ask my doctor again, if she doesn't help I'll just buy the ones that can be used without prescriptions. I hope it's not some melatonin insensitivity, that would require some pretty harsh drugs.

On Wednesday, 17 October 2018 at 20:03:23 UTC, lagfra wrote:
> On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
>> I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.
>
> Hi, I'm one of the other participants to the SAoC project and I'm replying on behalf of me and Francesco, the other SAoC student.
> We just wanted to tell you not to be too hard on yourself and that we understand the difficult time you're going through.
>
> Also, if you want a change of air or a place were you can look for new opportunities, we both are students in Turin (Italy) right now and you're welcome to join us anytime.
>
> We hope the best for you.

I agree with lagfra, take your time...

BTW, it seems that the Italian D Programmers League is more crowded that expected...

/Paolo

On Thursday, 18 October 2018 at 00:28:32 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
> I hope it's not some melatonin insensitivity, that would require some pretty harsh drugs.

Have you given Cannabis a try? You don't have to smoke it, it can be vaporized too for example, and is really easy to grow yourself.